As Women, Why Do We Still Deal with Mean Girls?

A few days ago, I posted something on my insta-stories that I had witnessed at my gym. I received a beyond overwhelming response so I wanted to share it here in hopes it reach a broader audience as well as a few thoughts of my own about mean girls.

Last week after spin class, I decided to stay to do a quick circuit of arms. As I walked toward the weights, I noticed two new girls that I hadn’t seen before. They were total fitness models, beautiful & decked out in the cutest workout clothes. Since I didn’t have my headphones, I could hear their girl-talk; the regular, recapping the weekend, boy drama, etc. I wondered if these two would be my new gym friends. As I was midway through arms, another girl walked in. Regular black leggings, old tank top & frizzy hair pulled back in a messy bun, she put in her headphones & picked up some weights. That’s when their run of the mill girl- talk changed. These two model-esque women started blatantly making fun of this girl. Her outfit, the way she was working out, even questioning why she felt the need to work out her arms when other parts of her body needed more immediate attention; no topic was safe. My heart sunk. I stood there shocked, frozen & speechless until I realized the girl knew they had to be talking about her. It wasn’t conspicuous. The girl made a face of sheer embarrassment, put down her weights and hastily walked away. Still stunned that this could even occur, I threw down my weights and ran after this poor girl as I couldn’t imagine someone coming to the gym, trying to better themselves, only to be crying alone in the bathroom. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find her and think she left right away. My heart has been so broken thinking about this situation.

I’ve been thinking a lot about mean girls lately and know it’s been something every woman has dealt with in their life. In hindsight, I can pinpoint a specific time that nice girls transition to mean girls. Mostly, it seems to happen in late elementary or middle school with high school really being the big crescendo. While overall I had a good high school experience, I was not exempt from being the target of mean girl behavior. I came from a small private elementary school to a larger pubic high school, in a small town. So, therefore, I was an easy target. I was initially made fun of for being “too nice.” Girls said I was only nice because I wanted to be crowned homecoming queen at the end of high school. Really? In another instance, I had come home from NYC where I had seen so many cute, trendy girls wearing hats just like this one. I loved being “fashion forward” (let’s be honest, as much as I could for being a high schooler in the early 2000’s) and wore it to my school’s basketball game. I remember thinking about what exact outfit I would wear with my new beloved hat, exactly how I’d do my makeup; if you think back, it’s a big deal at 16. When a few of my girlfriends and my mom walked into the stands, a group of girls a year older pointed & audibly laughed (read: cackled) at me. Everyone stared. I felt like I may as well be wearing a clown suit. I played it off like Elle Woods in the bunny costume, but inside I was devastated.

Questions raced in my mind. Did I buy the wrong hat? Are hats dumb? Why didn’t I just wear an Abercrombie t shirt & jeans like everybody else at my school? But I can think back and remember the instant I realized it wasn’t me or my hat that these were laughing at. It was their own insecurity. That…and frankly, they were bitches.

What terrifies me most is that stupid mean girls from high school don’t just stay in high school. The big crescendo does not stop there. While my stories are minor examples, they are the instances I feel comfortable sharing; I know many women who had it way worse. And for what? Why do they feel the need to tear others down to build themselves up? Like our teenage awkward phases, why don’t these girls grow out of it?

I may not have been the target at the gym the other day but witnessing it still hurt. There is something to glean from this situation and it’s that mean girls turn into mean women. The gym bully body shamers, shit talkers, moms who feel the need to criticize how other women raise their children and the mysterious social media veil that seemingly makes it OK to make nasty comments. It has got to stop.

What happened to forging #GirlPower friendships on the basis of Spice Girls and working together to bring down Regina George? While I’m not lobbying for us to literally push all mean girls in front of buses, I am hoping that more women will give up their immature and insecure ways and just be kind. Why are we competing against each other when there is room for everyone to be successful?

I hope the next time you’re in a situation with a mean girl, I hope you say something. Because I know I will. I hope next time something judgmental or callous about a friend pops into your head, I hope you refrain from saying it. Because I know I will.

There is enough pink for us ALL to wear on Wednesdays.

Cheers

Three Thrills by Thursday

one. 

Recently, I’ve been looking for little ways to beat the winter blues. In the spring & summer, I love to drive with the sunroof open listening to music however my commutes have seemed extra mundane lately. I started listening to Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations during my commutes which has been such a pleasant boost in my day. First of all, we can all agree Oprah is queen but I love her thought provoking interviews with other interesting humans. I highly recommend listening if you have time to kill during a commute or even just want to play it through your headphones or even over a speaker while you shower. Really incredible.

two.

Speaking of winter blues, if you live anywhere that has a winter season, you’re most likely Vitamin D deficient. Lately, I’ve been taking Olly’s Hello Sunshine to supplement the lack of sunshine. Vitamin D deficiency can disguise itself as fatigue and an overall funk. Hello!? Our bodies miss the sun! Highly recommend these gummy vitamins and they taste sooo good! Also, I cant stress this enough- stay hydrated!!

three.

A few weeks ago I wrote about resolutions for 2018. One of mine is putting down all electronics 30 minutes before bed, which happens to be a routine of a few highly successful people. Man Repeller tested six bedtime habits of successful people and reported back on how it went..

Cheers

Trader Joe Favs

Today I wanted to share a few items that have been in my cart every time I head to Trader Joe’s. To be honest, Trader Joe’s always used to be an extra stop for me. I’d go to my regular grocery store then if I wanted something specific would pop into Trader Joe’s to pick it up. A few months ago I popped in and realized it was silly of me to be doing two grocery stops, they have so many great items! Here are a few things of my favs!

  1. Everything But The Bagel seasoning. Okay, a few weeks ago I asked on Insta if other people were as obsessed with this as I am. I got a resounding YES! I love this seasoning on ezekiel bread with laughing cow cheese or on top of scrambled eggs.
  2. Gluten Free Buttermilk Pancake & Waffle mix. If you don’t make your own batter from scratch and prefer to be gluten free, this mix is surprisingly delish. I usually think GF can be a little… sawdust-y;  I truly think this mix is your best GF option out there.
  3. Creamy Spinach Artichoke Dip. I totally fell into the TJ trap… They were sampling this dip a few weeks ago and I was surprised at just how creamy & delicious this was. I actually took it to our Super Bowl party last weekend and it was a huge hit. I also love to keep this in my freezer in case we end up having guests over last minute.
  4. Dr. Praegers California Veggie Burgers. These are SO good. While I still enjoy regular burgers, I’ve been trying to keep healthier option readily available at home so I’m not tempted by takeout. I just pop one of these into the oven and eat it plain- it’s so good!! They have other types too but this one if my favorite.
  5. Acai Puree Packets are perfect for those gorgeous Acai bowls you see on Instagram but are rather pricey to buy. A great option is to make it yourself at home. These are unsweetened so it’s a great way to know just how much sugar you’re adding into your breakfast (or whenever you decide to make one).
  6. Carrot Ginger Miso Salad Dressing. This is an awesome alternative to making your own carrot ginger dressing. I love it so much that once I stopped at three different locations because they fly off the shelves.
  7. Corn & Chile Salsa – great to add to taco salads!
  8. Makings for a BOMB charcuterie board. Have you ever been mesmerized by the wall of cheese available at Trader Joe’s? Guilty. They have a great range for cheeses + meats to make a fantastic charcuterie whether it’s  a night in for one or a cheeseboard to top all over Instagram cheeseboards.

What did I miss? What are your Trader Joe’s favorites?

Cheers

Three Thrills By Thursday

Happy Thursday & Happy February! January felt like a very. long. month. Anyone else already planning their weekend? Sharing a few things from my week if you need a little pre-weekend pick-me-up.

one.

in havana, one of my fav trips!

People often ask me how I’m able to travel as much as I do (if I could do it for a living, I would!) but really, I just try to maximize vacation time & keep my eyes peeled for flight deals! I love these helpful hints on Cupcakes & Cashmere for those of us who work full time but still want to maximize our vacas! Another two tips I’d add if you travel often for work, first of all, bank ALL your airline miles. If you end up flying an airline you don’t currently have a mileage account for, sign up! Secondly, if you’re traveling for work, ask if it’s okay to extend your trip, or fly out early! It’s a great way to spend some time in a new city.

two

Okay, I posted this picture on Insta a few days ago but the biggest notable tidbit here are these lips. On a whim, I picked up a small tin of three shades of Nudestix in the Sephora checkout line (that always gets me.) I’m not kidding you when I say I LOVE the way it wears. Definitely looks like a matte but is very hydrating plus, I went the whole day (lunch & some snacks + tea) with only one minor touchup! I am loving the colors and if you don’t want to order directly from their site, you can find limited color at Ulta or Sephora. If you’re loving the red I’m wearing in this pic, it’s “royal.”

three.

I’m currently working one of these books within this list but if you’re anything like me you love to read the book before it becomes a movie. Here are the books you’re going to want to read before their movies come out this year!

Cheers!!

Valentine’s Day Gifts for Him

Today I’m sharing 10 of my favorite V-day gifts for the men in your life. The gifts listed below represent various price points as well as interests, too! I am a HUGE fan of the Bose Noice Cancelling headphones, in fact, I don’t travel without mine!

If you’re looking for some advice on what to get the lady in your life, check out yesterday’s gift guide for her.

 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10

Cheers!

Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her

wearing Nudestix in Royal

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I’ve compiled a list of a few V-day surprises if you’re needing a little inspiration. If you’d rather book an activity to do together, a couples massage or cooking class can be a great way to celebrate. If you’re thinking these aren’t for you, I’ll say this, flowers & a card (written from the heart) are among some of the best gifts I’ve received.

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 //  7 // 8 // 9 // 10

 

Stop back tomorrow for a gift guide for your favorite guys!

Cheers!

2018: Resolutions We ALL Need to Make This Year

<clearly adjusting well to hygge in my fav pajamas>

New year, new me? To be honest, I’m not huge on resolutions. I like the idea of a “refresh” button but who’s to say that can’t happen in June or September? Either way, if you’re reevaluating this January (or February…. or March), here are a few resolutions we all should be making.

  1. Schedule your yearly physicals with your doctors. When I moved, I didn’t get a PCP right away and eventually found myself making excuses or feeling like I couldn’t take time off work. Bad. The saying is true, we’re nothing without our health. Check in with your PCP, dermatologist and ladies, your OB-GYN. If you have questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to ask. In fact, come with questions! “Does this mole look normal?” I promise you’re not the first person to ask whatever is on your mind.
  2. Adapt the Danish concept of Hygge. Hygge can simply be defined as enjoying life’s simple pleasures; a cozy contentment. Everyone has something that recharges their batteries, for some it’s a slow Saturday morning or cozy night in with friends. The point is to gain energy from taking joys in the simple things; try to schedule your self some hygge once a month.
  3. Identify a bad habit & try to break it. Even if you only do this once in 2018, you’ve broken one bad habit. For me, it was looking at my phone before going to bed. The blue light was affecting my sleep pattern and frankly, we don’t always need to be connected. I’ve supplemented that time with enjoying a hot cup of tea and reading for at least 30 minutes before bed. I haven’t been able to do that ritual every single night, but it’s something I look forward to and I’ve definitely found it easier to disconnect.
  4. Be more productive. Whether it’s at work, in the gym, working on your side hustle, whatever it is, push yourself to out of your comfort zone. I promise you will find yourself feeling rewarded by staying motivated.
  5. Monitor your progress. It’s so easy to get bogged down in remembering the things you aren’t doing, but so important to remember the small victories. Did you make it to the gym on the day you were really tired? Good for you! Did you break a bad habit? Good for you. Don’t forget to relish in the small victories. The (wine) glass is half full!
  6. Know you can do anything, just not everything. There are many times where I find myself overcommitted. Stressing yourself out by agreeing to do too much or putting my efforts in several different areas; it doesn’t allow creativity or time to let your brain rest. Your parents weren’t kidding when they said you could do anything, but you can’t truly succeed if you’re putting bits of yourself towards different goals. Pick one, work like hell and achieve it… then move onto the next one.
  7. Remove yourself from toxic situations. Not to mince words, cut down on the drama. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship with a friend, remove yourself. If you find yourself in a toxic situation, remove yourself. No one should ever rob you of your energy.
  8. Make a new healthy habit. I know it’s trite to say “get healthy” as new year resolution. However, I challenge you to make a new healthy habit & stick to it. Maybe for the overachiever, it’s practicing self-care. Maybe it’s to incorporate a green vegetable into a daily meal or try that spin class you’ve been nervous to try.
  9. Stay informed. As circumstances have it now, news changes in an instant. Thanks to our socially connected lifestyle, it’s easier than ever to stay informed. Being informed is integral. It’s important to know the facts when it comes to voting, social action and beyond. At very least, sign up for The Skimm, it’s a great place to start.
  10. Be a little bit kinder. The world is in a weird place right now. Having a little extra patience or the desire to pay it forward can only benefit all of us.

Cheers