In 2021, I was reminded how complex our emotions can be and how many can live in our hearts simultaneously.
This year, I experienced grief unlike anything I could’ve expected. Navigating the feelings around losing my dad has often felt insurmountable and when I said “I will miss him every minute of every day” I’m not even sure I understood how heavy that sentiment would feel day in and day out. My dad was full of poignant thoughts and advice and his voice continues to live on in my head telling me to never waste a moment. I decided to heed his advice and therefore…
I also experienced an overwhelming amount of personal & professional growth and despite our entire generation’s struggle with imposter syndrome, I been able to recognize that I’m really proud of myself (I think that’s considered growth in itself) for all I’ve accomplished this year. I put in the work that can feel scary and uncomfortable and figured out that’s where real progress happens. I’ve been captivated by new experiences and relished in the comfort of friends & family. I’ve flown by the seat of my pants traveling solo through a foreign country, accepted a position that I previously convinced myself I wasn’t qualified for and became a columnist for a magazine.
This year, I’ve felt both immense pride in the work of done and immense feelings of saudade (a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia) about not being able to share in those joys with my dad.
I truly feel that we don’t have to pick one emotion to classify a year or time in ours lives, or heck, even a day. We are complex creatures with many emotions so if you’re feeling sad because a relationship isn’t going your way but happy because of a personal development of yours: that’s totally normal. If you’re looking back at this past year with mixed emotions, you’re not alone. My advice for next year? Celebrate the wins, care for yourself a little extra in the losses and push yourself to grow in ways you know you need to.
Wishing you happy and healthy new year and a little extra courage to make every moment count in 2022.